"Passing By - No Photo - Just Imagine"
He is just over there
Beyond the exit sign
He doesn’t ever think of me
In that realm
He doesn’t know me anymore
Under the curse
He doesn’t realize I am passing by
Does he?
What does he see at sunrise?
As I drove along Route 128 today – first going to Stoneham at noon and then returning home in the afternoon, I passed by the exit to dad’s place. I thought about him sitting in his wheel chair listening to the music on the CD player. I wished I could pop in for a few minutes. I was sorry my work schedule prevented even a quick visit.
This evening I sorted through a pile of papers in my office. I found some notes I jotted down on yellow paper almost two years ago. He still lived at home. He seemed attentive to what he did not know. As I read my messy penciled scrawl I remembered Meme had told me how she was standing at the sink washing dishes. He was sitting at the table in the kitchen. She was surprised when he said to her; “What’s your name?”
She answered: “Maureen”
He said: “Maureen what?”
That same day Meme had asked him to put something in the pantry and he asked; “Where’s the pantry?” When Meme was telling me about these incidents back in the spring of 2008, she was tired and upset. She was trying to understand what was happening to her husband of 60 years. With tears welling up in her eyes, she said; “I have to fight to get a shower.”
Looking back, I realize Meme was fighting with the disease and hanging on to the last threads of his personality, of his consciousness, of him - the person who knew me.
Finding these notes tonight, helped me realize what I am passing by.
